So life is super busy with school and PMDC (paul mitchell dance crew) I will do a whole blog on that later.
Tonight is one of those nights....
-I have these kind of nights about..6 times a week
-really depends on if I can get myself to sleep fast enough to not have time to think
-so I've decided that I really must have some kind of mental problem to still be in love with a complete jerk
Someone please answer this question:
How is it possible to know to a full extent that you can do better, that this guy doesn't treat you right, that he doesn't really care about you...etc. etc. etc. AND YET STILL literally ache to be with him again?!
MAKES NO SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The day that I can go a full week without missing him once will be the day that well I don't even know how to finish.
Sorry to be such a downer...I know that no one likes to read or hear negative things..but I've decided this is going to be my outlet..my truth center...my way of getting all the negative out of my head and onto this instead...so if this kind of stuff just makes you sad...don't read it. I COMPLETELY understand. This is more for me then anything.
4 comments:
I'm just glad you realize it, Sarah!! All the other things that you want to understand will come in time...
Things not working out between you and Danny don't make either of you bad people - but how you deal with the aftermath is a huge deal...so keep on plugging along. You'll get there...
I say - vent away!!! Don't hold back - it really will be good for you (like you said:)!!)
lbh
I am glad to know you admit that you need to vent, and by all means do! He hurt you, and you have a right to be angry. He was your first TRUE love and that will always remain. He will always hold a special place in your heart and in your own time, when you're ready, you will move on and find someone better. Keep you chin up, and eyes open. You're gunna find the right man, and you will know when hes the one.
sarah, i found your blog, from seriously, i dont even know where, and have been reading for the past two weeks or so. i just have to say, youre a strong woman for what youre going through, and that after you work through this you will be even stronger and GRATEFUL it happened. seriously, it will make you stronger and youll learn so much about yourself. good luck on the journey though, i dont doubt its hard, but you can do it.
erin (nyholm)
Just know that everything happens for a reason and YOU know who is in control and HE loves you.
Ask HIM to hug you and fill you with HIS love.
LET GO AND LET HEAVENLY FATHER AND HIS SON HAVE THEIR WAY IN YOUR LIFE!
Love you Sarah,
Lolly
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